Monday, October 9, 2017

#MondayBlogs #Control #mentalhealth #bipolardisorder #ThougthsAndObservations @shannonihayes


It's a funny thing. An illusion we have, something we all feel we need to attain. Control over ourselves, our environment, our children, each other. It's a scale that slides. I mean think about it, when you are a child, you have no control over your environment, you have no choices that are yours, I mean not really, not unless you had some really progressive parents, and then even if you did it was all an illusion, because if your decisions weren't the same super liberal drivel they were spouting then you were cast off as a child and ignored.

So what did you do? You played, probably with friends or maybe by yourself, but somebody paid for how you were treated at home, some toy got mangled, some kid was the villain in the story for the day so you could be the hero. So you could have CONTROL. That's where it started. For a lot of  us at least. *Shrugs* Or maybe not. Maybe it's just me.

My mother, oh, talk about a person with control issues, on top of issues. She has always been a trigger for me. A hot button that can destroy my mood in a moments notice by simply being in the same room, hell I'm hundreds of miles from her and she still grates me. So my solution? I no longer talk to her. It's working out... mostly. Some days I miss her, then I remember how toxic our relationship is, and I know that the truth is we are both better off apart. That is me controlling my environment in the strictest way I know I can.

Why does this matter? What's this got to do with anything? Hell if I know, I just felt the usually once in the while compulsion to write to you people. I think I'm going to try to do it more often. Maybe it will help. See, I've been living on my own since May, and while I've got a great friend that I talk to everyday, I've lost a few along the way. Hurts run deep, but I'm in process. I've grieved the relationships gone. I'm working on doing more for me.

I'm wrapped too damn tightly, and need to unravel a bit, but how much is too much when you're set like a trap with a slice of cheese and you also happen to be the mouse?


Saturday, April 16, 2016

Fated Binds #Release #Blitz #BDSM #LGBTQ @DNSBookoholics @shannonihayes

by S.I. Hayes
Erotic Paranormal Romance 

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Prince falls in love with raven haired beauty from afar…

that, this is not your mamma’s paranormal romance.

Grigori University there is a different kind of student body. The Deviant
Class. They are the things that kept you awake in the night; the dreams that
held you close. From the Vampires to Dragon born, Purebloods and half, there is
tension as they are pushed into the laps of human society.

Teague is a vampire Lord, a prince amongst his kind and the integration is his
project, all was going well, until he is blindsided by a woman.

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I watched her as she stared off into the space
between the blackboard and the clock. This raven haired beauty that had chewed
through more than a dozen pens in class in just a couple of weeks. I have been
wondering just what has the girl so frustrated. I have also wondered what it
would be like if she wrapped those well glossed lips around my cock rather than
that plastic pen cap. Sitting in the back of the lecture hall with the rest of
the deviant class I can watch her, but she’s not ready. Not yet. But soon…
Ahh... the opening spring lecture.

“Grigori University is a special kind of school. After the Great
Unveiling in the early 21st century we Otherkind have lived in relative peace
with the humans. Sharing our technology, and of course donating our dead to the
sciences has kept governments at bay, and Grigori is one of North Eastern
America’s leading mixed schools. It took some rallying to get us here. But it’s
been two years and so far we haven’t had any riots so there’s always that to
write home to mom and dad about.”

              A scattering of laughter filled
the room and the raven haired girl looked back over her shoulder, her eyes
scanning the darkness of the high seats, until I felt them settle for an
instant on me. My heart raced at the thought that she may have finally noticed
me as I’ve noticed her. Hunger filled the pit of my stomach; I had to close my
eyes to hide the glow that would have startled the room. When I opened them
again her glance had moved on and I was left feeling lonely.


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Shannon (S. I.) Hayes has been telling tales for so long as she
has been able to talk, and began writing them down shortly thereafter.
In Dreams... Series, The
Roads trilogy, began in 2006 after a D&D campaign ended, Hayes took the
world and a series was created. It took five years as she spent many months at
a time in an undiagnosed Bi-Polar fog. In 2010, she finally found the help she
needed and she has been writing feverishly ever since. Shannon is the Co-Author
Awakenings: The Wrath Saga. She has several blogs and maintains her own website.
In her own words... I have a mind that is easily distracted and
prone to wandering. Tangents are my forte, and if you think my characters are
going to fit a cookie cutter shape of any kind, think again. They live, they
love, they eat, sleep, and fuck. I believe that people are inherently sexual
creatures and my characters, be they human or something altogether else, are no
I don't adhere to a single genera, I toe the line on several and
wouldn't presume to be a master of any. So I suppose you could call me
I am a truth seeker, in my life, in my work. I’d apologize for it,
but I kinda can't help m’self. It's my best and worse personality trait, well
mostly. Being Bi-Polar I guess you could say that is the worst. But I believe
that the disorder has made me, well... Me.
I have taken this life and twisted, carved, shaped, and molded it
into the worlds of my characters. Albeit with a chainsaw, and it has made all
the difference.

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Saturday, March 5, 2016