Saturday, February 9, 2013

It's Been A Long Journey..... But Here I Am.


             All created by me, for all of you! Hours of blood, sweat and tears went into all that is my work. And just when I thought I was done, Woosh! It had to be redone. Oh Holy Hell.

          Format this way for smashwords, that way for Kindle, and another way all together for Createspace. I think my head is gonna explode. Add to that the fact that my computer hates me the last few days. It likes to freeze up at the most inopertune of times. Leaving me hanging like a slip on the clothesline just as the rain starts, while your at work! All this insert break here and update TOC there, for a minute I was wondering if it was worth all the trouble.

​                      But then I saw it, MY Book. Front, spine, back cover....
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             Hell I was almost in tears. I know... I know... but what do you want from me? It has taken a long time to get this far. I spent the better part of two years with writer's block. Between health issues in the family and of my own and coming to terms with the fact that I am Bi-Polar, I almost gave up all together.

​                 Medications did nothing, I had to have surgery and fight to get and keep my crappy insurance. With all the fuss going on, no wonder I couldn't write! I watched as my AWAKENINGS Co-Author published his first title.                                                      and had to feign happiness for him. Truth was I really didn't care. Such was the state of my illness. Here was my best friend of *Cough* years so excited over such a great accomplishment and I WAS FAKING IT! Fortunately for me, he knows now just how very proud of him I really am.

              I've sat through Anger Management, Stress Management, Cognitive therapy, and Bi-Polar Groups. But in the end, so far, it hasn't done much more than annoy the crap out of me. No, that's not true, not entirely, it's gotten me out of my cooped up little dungeon. Made me remember that there was a time when nothing and no one could stop me. I'm NOT the person people used to know. But That is a GOOD THING! I really am better than I've been in a long time. and it really is because of the writing.

​            I took a moment in my life and said to hell with the bullshit. I sat down and wrote... And wrote.... Deleted.... And started over. But Finally in January, just literally 12 hours before I turned 30, In Dreams: The Road Unavoidable went live at Smashwords.com. I was elated. To further add to that elation I was offered a deal with a real live pub. co. But creative differences caused us to part ways. They were Christians, and I am not. But I wasn't upset. It was my choice to disclose my heathen ways. For which I am not ashamed.
PAGAN AND PROUD! BABY!

        There will be others in the traditional Pub world. But until then E-pub and Createspace are my tools. Bringing My World, My Way, Uncensored, to those brave enough to hit that purchase button.

​                It has been a long road, but in the end, if I had not traveled it, I wouldn't be here. Now...Right where I want to be.
             
               HAPPY WRITING!!
Published on August 03, 2012